Self-Development

Change

I’m one of those weirdos who thrives off of change. It stresses me out but it lights a fire in me every single time. I do NOT like to fail (who does, really?!?), so I will do whatever it takes to make the changes be successful. Does that mean I make changes without anxiety? Without fear? Ha!! I wish!

As this school year comes to a close, I find myself making a major change in my professional life. After 16 years in a classroom, I’m switching to become a reading teacher. As if that wasn’t stressful enough (and trust me, I’ve got ALL the stress there), I’m switching to a different school (eek) and taking my youngest two kids with me (double eek). On the outside, I look calm about it. On the inside, I am a disaster. I wish I had a crystal ball so I could stop pondering my decision-making skills.

I am super excited about the change, don’t get me wrong! I know that I’m going to grow, professionally from the change. I’ve taught kindergarten for the last eleven years. I LOVE it, which makes this move all the more stressful. I have an amazing team, which also makes me stress. I’ve got it pretty good where I’m at. But I’m feeling stagnant. It makes me wonder if I’m feeling ungrateful. I worry about that. But I just am in a rut. Guys, I’ve been leading calendar every single day for eleven years. If I have to say, “What month is it?!?” in a fake excited voice for more than the ten days that we have left, I’m going to poke my eyeballs out! I’ve done this thousands of times in the last eleven years. It’s become exhausting instead of exciting. That’s how I know that I have to change. My great position with great staff, students and families isn’t enough. It’s become too easy to overlook ALL of the good because I’m so used to it. It’s become way too easy to see the tiny little flaws because they’ve become a novelty. I hate that. I don’t want to be that person.

And so, even through the anxiety, the worries and the flat-out fears…SO many fears (Will I be good enough? I don’t want to let anyone down. Will my kids thrive in a new environment? Will they make friends? What if people don’t like me?), I change. I change because I know that’s what I need to benefit myself and everyone around me. And you know what? I’ll make it work. All of those fears will be a giggle to me down the road. This change will start a new chapter in my life that is yet to be titled. I have a feeling it’s going to be beautiful, earth-shattering and life-changing. Bring it on!!

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This Fine New Journey

Hello and welcome to my blog! This is a brand-new journey for me, but I’m so excited about it. I’m a 30-something mom of four, a kindergarten teacher, business owner, a wife, sister, daughter, friend…all the hats. I’m sure you all know what that’s like! I’m kind of known by my family, friends and co-workers for saying “It’s fine. It’ll be fine!” The house could be on fire, my kid could be missing, I could have just been told I have to work an extra three unplanned hours, the bus broke down on the field trip and I’m stranded with 60 5-year olds on a highway (that one really happened!)…and I’d still be saying “It’s fine!” with a swipe of my hand, like it’s no big deal. Inside I’d be completely freaking out. Was this healthy? No, I’m sure it wasn’t. I didn’t know how else to deal with it though.

In the past few years, I’ve realized that though I say I’m fine, (and honestly, in the grand scheme of things, it really is fine…people have MUCH bigger things on their plate), things aren’t fine at all! I seemed to have honed in on a knack for finding solutions to problems of all shapes and sizes. Now, that’s not to say that my life is problem-free. Ha! I wish. But I’m not sure if it’s the mom in me, the teacher in me or what…somehow I can take “problems” or minor frustrations and come up with a way to fix them. This can be organization issues, storage space problems, behavior problems with kids, relationship issues, time-management struggles, self-esteem lows. Somehow, I seem to be able to figure out ways to alleviate the stress. Though I still say, “It’s fine!” with a flick of my wrist, in my head, I’m already working on a solution. I’ve figured out how to be “better than fine” in my life. I look forward to sharing some of these solutions with you!